Tuesday, December 4, 2007

A brief moment of procrastination

As I sit in Panera for going on hour number 3 trying to compile research from 5 other people (4 of whom are not native English speakers) into one coherent paper, I wonder why it was not my calling to be a trophy wife traveling on a yacht and planning dinner parties. I'm good at those things. As Dorothy Parker once said, "I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'm sure I'd be darling at it!"

No, no I know I've got more in me than that.

But still...what if my calling was to be a film critic, or a professional player-with-kittens, or a pillow tester?

And as I write this, I notice that the woman, Selida, who cleans our building everyday has just arrived for her second, evening job- cleaning at Panera, where I sit with my laptop and coffee and cookie (to keep my strength up). I don't think she is thinking about her calling.

I could weep over my selfishness.

Ok back to writing.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

The day is at hand

Somewhere in the middle of this chaos called the first semester of seminary, I began to fit in. I think I might be at home here, and for anyone who knows me, this takes the form of being outrageously busy. Case in point, my day today:

7am: Advent Bible Study
8am: Youth Ministry class (make important comment about why we teach our boys different things then our girls)
9am: Shower
9:30am: I am exhausted. Nap.
10:40: Vagina Monologue Auditions (did I mention I'm co-directing the Vagina Monologues next semester?)
11:40: Church History
12:40: Power Nap
1:20: Lunch and meeting with Preceptor who thinks I'm smarter than C=M.Div.
2:00: 1 Page Exegetical Appetizer
2:25: Leave for Work
2:35: Dunkin' Donuts stop and 4th cup of coffee for the day
3-6pm: Work with kids answering questions like "What is volume?" and "What sound does 'ch' make?"
6:30pm: Group project planning.
7:30pm: More vagina monologue auditions
9pm: break to process w/Kelly about group project.
10pm: Prayer group.

So somewhere I became busy and my life started here. It's weird because it is so all of a sudden, in the way we are told Christ will come back to us. I've also been thinking about how Seminary is like 4 years of Advent instead of just 4 weeks. We all seem to be waiting for our lives to really start. Yet, I think my day today proves that mine has. My day was full of ministry and Christ's presence. No it wasn't perfect. I was frustrated, I didn't get some things done, I'm not fully prepared for tomorrow, but I think I lived out my calling today in a real and tangible way and I don't often feel like I can say that. It gives me hope. It makes me love others. It renews my faith.

Monday, November 19, 2007

The Women in my Life

During this time of reflecting on things we are grateful and thankful for, I am thinking about the many women pastors in my life that are so important to me. There was a time growing up when I didn't know that women could be pastors because I didn't know any. Now, I am blessed to be surrounded by so many, in big ways and small. This week I want to highlight 3 who have been and continue to be influential in my ministry.

They are, in the order in which i met them:

The Rev. Can Crusher: This woman is who I list always as influential to my calling. She was able to see something in me that I could not see for myself, namely that there was a place for me in ministry. Through her I learned that "normal" people (in the best sense of the word, in the wine drinking, swearing, laughing too loud sense of the word) could be pastors. I continue to be inspired by her bold acts of social justice.

The Rev. Southern Belle: This one is not so easily covered up or disguised as the lady herself is never camouflaged, but is always 100% herself. Many of you will know who I'm talking about. So many important lessons were learned from this friend: Yard sales make the best therapy, any and every occasion requires lipstick, and we all need sweets to keep our strength up sometimes. More importantly, though, I learned (and continue to learn): how to carry a family, church, group of strangers, and whole community through a disaster, how to say what needs to be said, put my hands on my hips and say "So there.", and how to make each person you talk to seem like they are the only person in the world at that moment (I'm still working on this one.)

The Rev. Has All the Answers: Now, I'm sure this lady would emphatically say that she does not have all the answers, but luckily for me it seems like she does. From the moment I met this woman, she has been nothing but on my side. She cannot jump through my hoops (that are on fire by the way) for me, but she stands right next to them cheering me on. She also challenges me to actually feel things, not just think about them, which is hard, hard work for me but very rewarding. I look forward to seeing how this relationship develops.

I also want to mention all the women that will be Pastors in my life. I am continually amazed at all the gifts and talents the women here (and not- shout out, Linda!) have and will bring to future congregations. I know they will do amazing things for God and will be inspirations to so many.

The Divine Image
William Blake

To Mercy, Pity, Peace, and Love,
All pray in their distress:
And to these virtues of delight
Return their thankfulness.

For Mercy, Pity, Peace, and Love,
Is God, our father dear:
And Mercy, Pity, Peace, and Love,
Is Man, his child and care.

For Mercy has a human heart,
Pity, a human face:
And Love, the human form divine,
And Peace, the human dress.

Then every man of every clime,
That prays in his distress,
Prays to the human form divine,
Love, Mercy, Pity, Peace.

And all must love the human form,
In heathen, Turk, or Jew.
Where Mercy, Love, & Pity dwell,
There God is dwelling too.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007


This phrase, "C=M.Div" is one I came into contact with early on at seminary. The idea is that one does not need straight A's (or B's) in order to graduate and become ordained. No one in your congregation will ever ask what you got on your systematic theology midterm. As long as you pass, it's all good.

This is troubling for those of us who have always gotten good or near perfect grades. I don't know how to turn my brain off so that I can destress a little and accept a B or C, and yet, I have to because there are classes where the professors very clearly say that an A is impossible.

All my education reason and rationale tells me that the learning should be enough, that a grade based on who wrote the Didache and when and were they wearing socks when they did is not important, but it is important that I get big concepts in our church history like early Trinity discussions.

So I'm working through this. The question is ultimately, "To stress or not to stress?". If my work is an offering to God, does God care if I get a C? Or does God care that I leave my room sometimes and have a glass of wine down the hall or go to the gym?

Also, because I'm starting to see how God likes to make fun of me, I'm sure wherever I go to church this Sunday, the preacher will mention the Didache.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Have I mentioned how much I love kids?

Today at the after-school program, I was sitting by one of my favorite kids. We were coloring. She asked if I was going trick or treating. I said that instead I was going to a party on Friday, even though it was after Halloween. Then, like a 40 year old who's been around the block once or twice, she said, "That's better, cause then you don't have to worry about having to come home early." She's 9, and probably my new best friend.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

A New Lease on Life

Last week I had off from school for reading week. Everything was going pretty well- I was getting work done, seeing friends, and even getting some rest in.


I came down with the worst stomach virus of my life. However gross you think it was, think 10 times grosser. After canceling a much anticipated dinner party, I spent two days lying in bed, in and out of consciousness. It seemed that I could not remember a time when I wasn't sick. I thought I had been born throwing up.

And then somewhere around the 48 hour mark things started turning around and by Sunday night I had made an almost full recovery.

While I may be overstating the depth of my brief illness, it really did make me appreciate just feeling good. I'm trying to carry that into this stressful time at school, as we're all struggling to study and get papers done in a very short amount of time. Yet really, nothing is all that critical. I'm doing my best, without giving up my life and that seems to be working out so far. I know this rosy disposition won't last, especially for me, but I thought I'd mention it to you maybe so you can look at what's causing you stress, and how important that really is.

As my Boston kids used to say, "It ain't that serious."

Happy Halloween!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Just Sayin

Ok, before I move on to some happier subjects, I just have to say, it is NOT right to tell someone, "You are so tall, you should stand in the back" and then make said person get up and move after everyone's already sitting, therefore causing a ruckus, all because secretly you just want to sit in the front. I recognize that in certain tones of voice or in certain contexts it might be fine to tell someone that, but in this case it wasn't and it made me mad.

I do not tell vertically challenged that they should carry around the Manhattan telephone book to stand on so they can be normal.

In my mind, Jesus is 7 feet tall and all the disciples are tiny, and he constantly has to duck to get in doorways and stand in the back of group photos, thereby covering his fabulous outfit.

Ok, moving on.

I'm doing much better than last week. I also appreciate everyone's concern. Part of what's been helping is getting involved with things on campus which allows me to do real things and work at things I'm passionate about. Also, I'm meeting people with the same interests.

Also, my youth ministry class took a retreat to Camden this weekend which was really good spiritually. We visited Urban Promise, an agency working with Camden kids to give them leadership skills, a better education, and lots of Jesus. It really helped put perspective on what I'm doing here- that there's something amazing at the end of the tunnel.
If you're interested, here's the Urban Promise website:


Also, I said something smart in Exegesis class yesterday. Yay!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Truth Be Told

The name of this blog is also the name of one of my favorite Blues Traveler albums. More on this in a moment.

Today, Mrs. S., the woman I work with at the after school program in Trenton, told me I was helpful and that she was really glad I was there. That was the first time in a while that I had the sense that I was really supposed to be here.

Because, truth be told, I'm having a hard time here.

This was compounded by my visit to Mississippi this weekend. I saw all the people who changed my life in amazing and profound ways, and returned to a place where I found myself in many ways.

So far, this place is not like that. I'm trying really, really hard and still don't feel at home. I'm lacking deep relationships (except K who I love, if she's reading) and haven't laughed really hard in a while. The classes feel irrelevant and Princeton feels like a ridiculously small bubble.

And the worst part is I don't know how much of this is me and how much is the school, how much I need to change.

One of the best parts of my day, aside from Mrs. S's comment, was my field ed. meeting. For those of you outside the "loop", basically we're meeting with advisers already to start talking about our internships. I realized later that this was so great for 3 reasons. 1. The woman was really awesome and seemed to "get" me within a few minutes of talking. 2. I can't wait to work again! I'm itching so fiercely for some real-life application. 3. I can't wait to get out of here. I want to travel and see more of the world.

Tonight my Mom asked if I was questioning what I'm doing. Rest assured, I'm not. I just wish there was any other way to get there.

Maybe I just need a nap.

Or maybe like Traveler says,

"Yes, I'm all prepared but in the face of it all I get just the littlest bit scared."

So, right or wrong, truth be told, that's how I'm feeling.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Phealeeng Dumm

Today was a bit frustrating. I feel like everyone here knows more than me and that none of my thoughts are original. This is a passing feeling, I know, because last week I was telling my Mom how smart I am.

But still.

My questions are old, my translations are wrong, my ideas are uninspired, I can't quote Paul.

Won't somebody please strike up a conversation about Anne of Green Gables, Arthur Miller, Dorothy Heathcote or the progression of Blues Traveler's music since they formed in the late 1980s (in Princeton!)?

Then I will feel intelligent again.

Thursday, September 27, 2007


Lately, I've been thinking alot about time, mostly because it seems like I don't have any. Classes at Seminary are getting more demanding, there's tons of reading to do, and I just started working at the Trenton After School Program.

Here's some ways I wish I could save time:

I wish I didn't have to shower, sleep, or eat.
I wish I didn't have to take out my garbage or do my laundry or wash my dishes.
I wish I could read whole books in minutes.
I wish I could have whole conversations with friends and families by just saying a few words.

But what would I do with all my time?


I would take long naps even when I wasn't tired and lots of bubble baths during which I would eat a 5 course meal.
I would keep my room at a constant state of comfy cleanliness.
I would pore over books, digesting every word.
I would talk on the phone for hours to friends and family about nothing, just to take in their voices.

What would you do with some free time?

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Everything I really need to know I learned at Seminary Orientation

Some things I've picked up during orientation:

- Be sure to check the source of the item you are plagiarizing because the source may be your professor.

-I should feel lucky, honored, and awe-inspired that this school has just achieved On-line registration. (I know what you're saying, "Um, haven't most schools been doing that for like 10 years?" Yes, but what's important is that we have it now.)

- No means No. Unless you are unable to say No and then it doesn't mean anything. Hmmm...

-In order to appease my indecisiveness, I can be on both the boards of "Seminarians for Life" and "Seminarians for Reproductive Choice". That's not a conflict of interest is it?

-The President ( a chaplain to Her Majesty the Queen (no, like really, he has tea with her on a regular basis)) enjoys jokes about what he may or may not be wearing under his fancy robe.

-Don't pee in a bottle and try to recycle it. (I think this is best left unexplained.)

-Your best friends should be the food service people and the facilities people.

But seriously, I'm realizing:

- I may have more gifts and experiences to offer than I ever realized.
- I deserve, despite initial reservations, to be here as much as anyone else and it's really God's plan.
- A Theatre Education degree may not be as useless as I assumed it would be since every day it's tying into what I'm doing. (Also, PTS trivia, MS.Youth Ministry Goddess herself holds a Theatre Education Degree. If that's not affirmation, I don't know what is.)
- I am truly blessed to be part of a theological community that spans almost 200 years and hopefully will continue for 200 more.

I am blessed, I am blessed, I am blessed

Monday, September 10, 2007

My Break

So I have been somewhat MIA the past couple of weeks, mostly because I have been out of my routine. I ended Summer Greek and have barely touched my computer while I've been home, but here's some things I've been up to:

-Catching up with friends, including one in Wisconsin, and a great trip to the city with Lauren which killed four birds with one trip so to say.

-Going to Eau Claire, Wisconsin! This was a fun, very relaxing trip. I feel like airport karma owed me an easy one. My second trip to this wonderful state did not disappoint. I was staying with a very good friend from college, Laura, and we spent tons of time chatting- letting the time get away from us. We are eerily similar in our thoughts about things and both enjoy long, nerdy discussions about education. It was great and I wish we lived closer.

- Home projects. I have stripped the wall paper in my bathroom, cleared out several drawers of clothes, and finally made something out of all my Europe crap (from 2003!), namely, a poster to hang in my room at school. This was a great idea stolen directly from Laura. Thanks, LJ!

- Lots of movies. My favorite "old but new to me"- Philadelphia. I know, terrible that I hadn't seen it yet, but really great acting and such important issues. My favorite "New New" movie- 3:10 to Yuma. Ok, super amazing, flawless in my opinion.

-Lots of reading. I finished White Teeth (I highly recommend this, but give yourself some time, it's not light reading) and started Another Bullshit Night in Suck City, a memoir that deals in part with the issue of homelessness in Boston. It's pretty depressing, but cool because the author worked at Pine Street, a homeless shelter I lived across the street from for a year.

-Good family time. I have proudly introduced Sam to the wonders of Raffi which he asks for by saying some combination of "Aunt Nenna sings", "bathtub" or "Baby Belooooogggoooo" I think he thinks I made Baby Beluga up in the bathtub. Also, I got to see my Aunt and Uncle and cousins at a barbecue yesterday which was really fun.

Tomorrow I have to officially stand before the Presbytery of Newton and officially say what I believe, officially. It's a little stressful because I'm at the end of a very long meeting and I only have 3 minutes to fit in all that I need to say. Then I answer questions. There will be some nail biting on my part but I think I'm starting to get used to all the hoops I need to jump through.

Orientation starts Friday. Classes start next Wednesday. I'm pumped!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007


Miss the moss-covered vines, tall sugar pines

Where mockingbirds used to sing

I'd love to see that old lazy Mississippi

Hurrying into Spring

The moonlight on the bayou

A Creole tune that fills the air

I dream about magnolias in bloom

And I'm wishin I was there

Please pray for my friends on the Gulf Coast.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Post #6

I haven't blogged in a while, mostly because nothing very new has happened. I have only 7 days of summer Greek left which is exciting and I'm looking forward to my first real semester. I'm feeling a bit more at home here, feeling more comfortable to be myself. In loud and chaotic places, I appreciate the solace of my quiet room.

I've spent a lot of time with my family which feels strangely wonderful. I keep feeling like I need to get all this time with them in before I go away again, and then I realize I'm not going away. It's nice.

On Monday I went to a meeting in the city put together by some Zetas. Zetas, if you don't know, are those belonging to Zeta Phi Eta, my college co-ed fraternity. They are some of the most awesome people I know and I was pumped to see them, and hopefully I'll keep seeing them! You see, we're trying to put together a New York professional chapter of Zeta. Professional chapters are for those who have graduated from college but still want to do Zeta-y things like community service and professional development stuff. I think it's great and will be a good escape from the Seminary bubble when I need it.

Ideally, something exciting will happen to me this week that I can write about.


Tuesday, August 7, 2007

In My Mailbox

Today in my little mailbox at school, there were two very exciting letters. The first was from the woman, Elma, I sponsor through http://www.womenforwomen.org. This program matches women who are living in war torn countries with sponsors who pay a small amount each month to help their sisters get vocational training. Elma is 20 from Bosnia. I was excited to see a letter in her own handwriting. I hope that in some small way our relationship helps to close the gap between "first-world" and "third-world" women and that it can be an example of peace.

Secondly, there was a letter from my friend, Aubrey. Aubrey was one of 3 women that became very important to me while I was in Europe for a semester. We have not been as close since then, but there is a bond that remains because of the amazing adventures we had there so I'm always very excited to hear from her (especially in a handwritten letter). Part of Aubrey's letter talked about her upcoming marriage which is so exciting. It served though in part to propel a debate/conversation in my own head about what I'm doing and what I'm doing in my life.

This summer has been sort of hard. Dorm life in a small town is not what I'm used to. After visiting some fabulous friends in Boston this weekend who live independently and roam around that awesome city, I realized my tiny room is going to take some getting used to. This is never what I imagined for myself for this point in my life. I do not regret for a second where I am, but I think I am beginning to understand the full weight of what I'm being called to and being called to give up. I am depending in a lot of ways on the charity and grace of others, trusting that God will provide what I need but probably not a ton of luxuries. This is alternatively frustrating, humbling and comforting.

I am also struggling with the fact that while moving so much has given me so many friends and experiences, it has not allowed me to grow roots, or perhaps rather to grow too many. For the first time last week I was really homesick for Mississippi. I cried on the way home from Starbucks where I was studying. Then I cried leaving Boston because I'm homesick for there too. I was looking at churches to intern in in Europe because I feel connected there.

I feel at home everywhere and no where all at once.

I realize that this is in many ways a wonderful problem to have, but it can still be hard.

I'll keep working on it.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Why it is handy to have lived in Mississippi

Because when I saw a giant roach (or Arthur as he is known to some) crawling out of my dorm room closet tonight, I knew what to do. First, I threw the thing I was holding (my Greek textbook) with perfect aim onto the bug. Then, having alarmed and dazed Arthur, but not completely killed him, I had time to grab the heaviest thing in my room that I could easily pick up to throw on him (my $180 Greek Lexicon). That did it. He is now in my garbage can.

Roaches bother me for a few reasons. Firstly, they survived even when the dinosaurs didn't. That's intense. Secondly, the old addage "they are more afraid of you then you are of them" doesn't really seem to be the case here. I've looked several in the eye and they are not terrifed, scared, or even the least bit concerned. And while I respect them for their determination and tenacity, I do NOT want them in my room.

Friday, July 27, 2007

One of those days...in a good way.

With my free time today, not needing to study since exam two is over and it's the weekend, I watched the movie Proof. I was curious to see it because I loved the play it was based on. The movie I thought was surprisingly good and very true to the play. If you are unfamiliar with the story, basically it is about a young woman whose father was an amazing mathematician. In his last years though he becomes incoherent and incapable of taking care of himself. She gives up school to stay home and take care of it. Post-death a proof is found and assumed to be his, but it turns out to have been written by her.

I like this story because it deals alot with what is concrete and what is provable and what is only provable because you can't prove the opposite. Aside from that, it asks alot of questions about greatness and where it lies. I am left with a question, What great things am I yet to accomplish? What novel, theory, or movement is waiting and sleeping within me?

Someone recently asked me what my greatest fear is. My answer was that I would get "stuck" somewhere for the rest of my life.

Yet, luckily and beautifully, there is freedom and change and propulsion and potential. I think sometimes God created an imperfect world on purpose so we could honestly and deeply feel when our struggles pay off, when wars end, when there is real equality, when homes are rebuilt, when women walk up the stairs of a seminary where they weren't allowed for a hundred years, and even when you pass an exam in a a language that was written thousands of years ago.

The question now is, what will I do first?

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

2 things

Ok so apparrently I didn't have the comment feature working on this blog. I think I fixed it now so feel free to leave lots of comments.

Secondly, in the midst of people dropping like flies from Greek (ok I know 2 people who dropped), being brought to tears (I can't believe they weren't mine) and being made to drink (I had 2 margaritas last night when I probably should have been studying some vocab...hmmm), I have been challenged to create...


(a la the Spartans' perfect cheers from Saturday Night Live).

Also, I sort of challenged myself. At dinner we were talking about that skit and I thought that said cryer might need the perfect cheer and then my friend said I should create said cheer.

So far I have: thanatou makes me thanablue
my perfect tense, is a mess
what ever will I do?

thanatou in it's actual greek letters means death.

Any ideas?

Monday, July 23, 2007

Let me not so much seek to be learn-ed as to learn?

Ok I have alot of catching up to do here. I'm going to do it in chapters.

Chapter 1: Moving

In one week I left my life in Mississippi (physically, not emotionally as that is proving harder to do) moved to NJ, gathered some stuff and moved to Princeton. During that time there was a road trip with two of my best friends from home, my Birthday, a welcome home party, and frantic gathering of things.

Somehow I managed to get myself together though to move in on July 6. The first thing I noticed was how laid back everything was. This could be only because it's the summer and everything is laid back in the summer, but I hope it lasts. For instance, I was preparing myself for a big to-do because I didn't have the money to pay for summer housing because I was applying for a loan. Instead when I told them that they were just like, Ok that's fine. As my Mom pointed out, at Emerson, it sometimes seemed like they didn't really want you there from all the hoops you had to jump through.

Then we got to my room. I closed my eyes and opened the door and...it was really nice! Big with lots of useful furniture. I moved all my stuff upstairs (by myself with no elevator) and Mom and I unpacked. Then after a fancy smancy lunch in Princeton we drove home so I could get ready for camping.

A funny side note about moving in...the first people I ran into in my building were these extremely tall, built women with athletic gear on...all of them. Hmmm...I thought to myself. Not what I expected from seminarians but alright I guess I'll be bulking up. Turns out the school was renting some rooms to the Women's National Rowing Team, some of whom are Olympic bound. That was good to hear since I don't like running or lifting so much. The other women on my floor are much more "regular" looking.

Chapter 2: In which I go camping and am attacked by a table.

My brother, Rebecca and a myriad of other folks go camping in Lake George every year. This was the first year I have been able to go, although it was only for one night. The weather was a little dodgy and we had some car issues but it was fun overall with a campfire, ice cream, games, and some beaching.

The first night we were there we were playing some games around one of those huge wooden picnic tables. Brett, Dave and myself were on one side winning, of course. When we decided to go to bed, everyone on the other side got up and I guess the table was on enough of an incline that it tipped over throwing the three of us to the ground.

Now what makes this hilarious (read my sarcasm) is that there were lit citronella candles on the table. I was sure I was in shock and just couldn't feel myself burning as I lay on the ground. Dave was completely covered with wax (not burned though) and Brett took an elbow to the head and was feeling quite sick. I was in fact not on fire, and miraculously neither was anything around us. I did walk away with a nasty bruise on my calf.

Who knew camping was so dangerous?

Chapter 3: It's all Greek to me

Within the first hour of Greek (required for PC(USA) ordination in order to translate the New Testament- read: I am not taking this out of my own freewill) I realized I would not be able to bullshit this. Sigh.

In general, I am learning Greek but I don't enjoy memorizations or things that mimic math- for instance, word A plus Ending C * object of a preposition= your sister. I'm dying for something creative. Not here I guess.

Luckily, the professor is awesome and hilarious and the preceptor (small group teacher) is also great.

Chapter 4: Could Princeton and Gulfport BE more opposite?

Princeton- Very wealthy
Gulfport- Not very poor everywhere, but the wealthy of Gulfport could not touch the normal people here.

Princeton- Liberal and Educated
Gulfport- Conservative and largely uneducated or educated in the bubble of the South

Princeton- Snobby
Gulfport- Warm and Friendly

Princeton- Contained and walkable
Gulfport- Huge with no sidewalks

Princeton- has no one I know
Gulfport- has too many people I love to count

Princeton- No fast food chains due to ban within city limits
Gulfport- You can't go outside without tripping over fast food places.

Chapter 5: Big Woman on Campus

I'm adjusting to life on campus, but it's eerie and quiet here now. There's only class and studying. We went to a party the first week we were here which was like the only thing on my planner for that week.

People are nice, I'm getting close to the women on my floor, and learning how different people here are from me. I know that sounds obvious but there's already been lots of "You believe that? Huh. Really."

There's also alot of academic one-upping going on. I think in undergrad we didn't want to seem nerdy so there was always some playing dumb happening. Not here. Alot of people are only too happy to list their degrees and trivial knowledge to you. Not always a ton of real life experience seems to accompany that though. I have to remind myself that I'm smart alot and that I deserve to be here. I just wish someone would start a conversation on 20th century theatre and/or education policies so I could prove it!

I'm going to try to be more up to date with my posts. Keep reading!