Today in my little mailbox at school, there were two very exciting letters. The first was from the woman, Elma, I sponsor through http://www.womenforwomen.org. This program matches women who are living in war torn countries with sponsors who pay a small amount each month to help their sisters get vocational training. Elma is 20 from Bosnia. I was excited to see a letter in her own handwriting. I hope that in some small way our relationship helps to close the gap between "first-world" and "third-world" women and that it can be an example of peace.
Secondly, there was a letter from my friend, Aubrey. Aubrey was one of 3 women that became very important to me while I was in Europe for a semester. We have not been as close since then, but there is a bond that remains because of the amazing adventures we had there so I'm always very excited to hear from her (especially in a handwritten letter). Part of Aubrey's letter talked about her upcoming marriage which is so exciting. It served though in part to propel a debate/conversation in my own head about what I'm doing and what I'm doing in my life.
This summer has been sort of hard. Dorm life in a small town is not what I'm used to. After visiting some fabulous friends in Boston this weekend who live independently and roam around that awesome city, I realized my tiny room is going to take some getting used to. This is never what I imagined for myself for this point in my life. I do not regret for a second where I am, but I think I am beginning to understand the full weight of what I'm being called to and being called to give up. I am depending in a lot of ways on the charity and grace of others, trusting that God will provide what I need but probably not a ton of luxuries. This is alternatively frustrating, humbling and comforting.
I am also struggling with the fact that while moving so much has given me so many friends and experiences, it has not allowed me to grow roots, or perhaps rather to grow too many. For the first time last week I was really homesick for Mississippi. I cried on the way home from Starbucks where I was studying. Then I cried leaving Boston because I'm homesick for there too. I was looking at churches to intern in in Europe because I feel connected there.
I feel at home everywhere and no where all at once.
I realize that this is in many ways a wonderful problem to have, but it can still be hard.
I'll keep working on it.
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This blog will follow my trials and tribulations as I pursue dual Masters degrees at Princeton Theological Seminary.
At my Best
About Me
- Brenna
- New Jersey, United States
- I am a NJ native pursuing dual degrees (M.Div and M.A. in youth ministry) at Princeton Theological Seminary
2 comments:
The largest, strongest oak tree sends out many surface feeder roots, searching for life and sustanence in a wide circle, some of which will find water and nurishment and others which will not fare as well and will die. Christ taught us that principle in the parable of the sower. But the oak also has a single tap root which runs deep into the rich soil to keep the tree firmly planted and standing tall. In the final analysis, the tree needs all of its roots to grow and prosper but it is the tap root that sustains the tree in times of drought.
Reach out and touch as many lives as you can in your life, but know that your oldest and strongest roots run deep into the heart of our family and we will always be there to support you, love you and help you grow.
You have made us proud.
DAD
"I feel at home everywhere and no where all at once."
My sentiments exactly. A few months ago I thought I was heading back to philly to be near my friends and realized that I had made friends on the coast. It was harder to leave than i thought it would be. Especially First Pres. I keep telling myself that I needed the break from that particular sort of chaos. I'd love to live on the west coast sometime and experience life in other countries too, but I get tired of all the moving and repeatedly leaving friends. I'd like to feel grounded some day. Lemme know when that happens for you.
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