Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Have I mentioned how much I love kids?

Today at the after-school program, I was sitting by one of my favorite kids. We were coloring. She asked if I was going trick or treating. I said that instead I was going to a party on Friday, even though it was after Halloween. Then, like a 40 year old who's been around the block once or twice, she said, "That's better, cause then you don't have to worry about having to come home early." She's 9, and probably my new best friend.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

A New Lease on Life

Last week I had off from school for reading week. Everything was going pretty well- I was getting work done, seeing friends, and even getting some rest in.


I came down with the worst stomach virus of my life. However gross you think it was, think 10 times grosser. After canceling a much anticipated dinner party, I spent two days lying in bed, in and out of consciousness. It seemed that I could not remember a time when I wasn't sick. I thought I had been born throwing up.

And then somewhere around the 48 hour mark things started turning around and by Sunday night I had made an almost full recovery.

While I may be overstating the depth of my brief illness, it really did make me appreciate just feeling good. I'm trying to carry that into this stressful time at school, as we're all struggling to study and get papers done in a very short amount of time. Yet really, nothing is all that critical. I'm doing my best, without giving up my life and that seems to be working out so far. I know this rosy disposition won't last, especially for me, but I thought I'd mention it to you maybe so you can look at what's causing you stress, and how important that really is.

As my Boston kids used to say, "It ain't that serious."

Happy Halloween!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Just Sayin

Ok, before I move on to some happier subjects, I just have to say, it is NOT right to tell someone, "You are so tall, you should stand in the back" and then make said person get up and move after everyone's already sitting, therefore causing a ruckus, all because secretly you just want to sit in the front. I recognize that in certain tones of voice or in certain contexts it might be fine to tell someone that, but in this case it wasn't and it made me mad.

I do not tell vertically challenged that they should carry around the Manhattan telephone book to stand on so they can be normal.

In my mind, Jesus is 7 feet tall and all the disciples are tiny, and he constantly has to duck to get in doorways and stand in the back of group photos, thereby covering his fabulous outfit.

Ok, moving on.

I'm doing much better than last week. I also appreciate everyone's concern. Part of what's been helping is getting involved with things on campus which allows me to do real things and work at things I'm passionate about. Also, I'm meeting people with the same interests.

Also, my youth ministry class took a retreat to Camden this weekend which was really good spiritually. We visited Urban Promise, an agency working with Camden kids to give them leadership skills, a better education, and lots of Jesus. It really helped put perspective on what I'm doing here- that there's something amazing at the end of the tunnel.
If you're interested, here's the Urban Promise website:

Also, I said something smart in Exegesis class yesterday. Yay!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Truth Be Told

The name of this blog is also the name of one of my favorite Blues Traveler albums. More on this in a moment.

Today, Mrs. S., the woman I work with at the after school program in Trenton, told me I was helpful and that she was really glad I was there. That was the first time in a while that I had the sense that I was really supposed to be here.

Because, truth be told, I'm having a hard time here.

This was compounded by my visit to Mississippi this weekend. I saw all the people who changed my life in amazing and profound ways, and returned to a place where I found myself in many ways.

So far, this place is not like that. I'm trying really, really hard and still don't feel at home. I'm lacking deep relationships (except K who I love, if she's reading) and haven't laughed really hard in a while. The classes feel irrelevant and Princeton feels like a ridiculously small bubble.

And the worst part is I don't know how much of this is me and how much is the school, how much I need to change.

One of the best parts of my day, aside from Mrs. S's comment, was my field ed. meeting. For those of you outside the "loop", basically we're meeting with advisers already to start talking about our internships. I realized later that this was so great for 3 reasons. 1. The woman was really awesome and seemed to "get" me within a few minutes of talking. 2. I can't wait to work again! I'm itching so fiercely for some real-life application. 3. I can't wait to get out of here. I want to travel and see more of the world.

Tonight my Mom asked if I was questioning what I'm doing. Rest assured, I'm not. I just wish there was any other way to get there.

Maybe I just need a nap.

Or maybe like Traveler says,

"Yes, I'm all prepared but in the face of it all I get just the littlest bit scared."

So, right or wrong, truth be told, that's how I'm feeling.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Phealeeng Dumm

Today was a bit frustrating. I feel like everyone here knows more than me and that none of my thoughts are original. This is a passing feeling, I know, because last week I was telling my Mom how smart I am.

But still.

My questions are old, my translations are wrong, my ideas are uninspired, I can't quote Paul.

Won't somebody please strike up a conversation about Anne of Green Gables, Arthur Miller, Dorothy Heathcote or the progression of Blues Traveler's music since they formed in the late 1980s (in Princeton!)?

Then I will feel intelligent again.