Today in my little mailbox at school, there were two very exciting letters. The first was from the woman, Elma, I sponsor through
http://www.womenforwomen.org. This program matches women who are living in war torn countries with sponsors who pay a small amount each month to help their sisters get vocational training. Elma is 20 from Bosnia. I was excited to see a letter in her own handwriting. I hope that in some small way our relationship helps to close the gap between "first-world" and "third-world" women and that it can be an example of peace.
Secondly, there was a letter from my friend, Aubrey. Aubrey was one of 3 women that became very important to me while I was in Europe for a semester. We have not been as close since then, but there is a bond that remains because of the amazing adventures we had there so I'm always very excited to hear from her (especially in a handwritten letter). Part of Aubrey's letter talked about her upcoming marriage which is so exciting. It served though in part to propel a debate/conversation in my own head about what I'm doing and what I'm doing in my life.
This summer has been sort of hard. Dorm life in a small town is not what I'm used to. After visiting some fabulous friends in Boston this weekend who live independently and roam around that awesome city, I realized my tiny room is going to take some getting used to. This is never what I imagined for myself for this point in my life. I do not regret for a second where I am, but I think I am beginning to understand the full weight of what I'm being called to and being called to give up. I am depending in a lot of ways on the charity and grace of others, trusting that God will provide what I need but probably not a ton of luxuries. This is alternatively frustrating, humbling and comforting.
I am also struggling with the fact that while moving so much has given me so many friends and experiences, it has not allowed me to grow roots, or perhaps rather to grow too many. For the first time last week I was really homesick for Mississippi. I cried on the way home from Starbucks where I was studying. Then I cried leaving Boston because I'm homesick for there too. I was looking at churches to intern in in Europe because I feel connected there.
I feel at home everywhere and no where all at once.
I realize that this is in many ways a wonderful problem to have, but it can still be hard.
I'll keep working on it.