In no particular order:
1. You get to feel very Law and Order when you go to not 1 but 2 ghetto police stations in Philly at 11 o'clock at night. (This after you've been sitting in your apt. for 3 hours because no one came. Apparently in Philly when a theft moves to a fraud, as in someone spending $317 on your card at CVS, an officer has to physically see you. Then when you go to station 1, they inform you that actually your particular crime happened right on the edge of their precinct and you need to go to station #2)
2. You don't have to worry about being mugged in said ghetto areas because everything worthwhile is already gone!
3. You become very chummy with your Bank representatives who, after detecting the crime before you did, seem like the Second Coming.
4. You get to make an unexpected trip to everyone's favorite place (wait for it)...The Jersey DMV!!
5. You get to make little jokies with the one nice guy of five people who check your IDs about why exactly you're carrying your College diploma, framed, into the DMV.
6. You find out your seminary is kindly not going to charge you for a new I.D.!!
7. After said DMV trip you get to see your baby niece for a little while.
8. You get to work on that all important Christian quality of forgiveness while picturing someone stealing your wallet out of your bag, running to CVS, spending $317, using the cash in your wallet to get to Cherry Hill, then spending $500 more at Target.
9. You get to hear everyone else's story about the time they lost their wallet, and kind of feel less bad about your situation. Kind of.
10. You get to correct everyone's assumption that the homeless people you work with took the wallet by saying, "Actually, my wallet was stolen in a food court in a really swanky hotel that caters to wealthy people and wouldn't let a homeless person in the door!"
Now doesn't all that sound awesome?